My family is from Nigeria, and my full name is
Uzoamaka, which means “The road is good.” Quick lesson: My tribe is
Igbo, and you name your kid something that tells your history and
hopefully predicts your future. So anyway, in grade school, because my
last name started with an A, I was the first in roll call, and nobody
ever knew how to pronounce it. So I went home and asked my mother if I
could be called Zoe. I remember she was cooking, and in her Nigerian
accent she said, “Why?” I said, “Nobody can pronounce it.” Without
missing a beat, she said, “If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and
Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.”
I’ve worked with many exchange programs on campuses, and they still “encourage” Chinese students to choose English names for their stay in the US. I’ve adopted a rule for myself, I won’t address them with their English name until they’ve told me to stop trying their real name on at least three different occasions. My family is largely immigrant, and while we’ve never had this problem, I don’t think anyone should have to change who they are when them find a new home, even a temporary one. So far, only two exchange student actually wanted to keep their English name, and one of them, Alice, had had Alice for a nickname since she was little.
Don’t know if it’s okay to add this here, but I used to work with a Chinese woman who had changed her name to Angelina for the sake of ease. When she first told me that was what she’d had to do, I asked her for her real name and if she minded me calling her that. She looked so frikkin happy, and it only took about two minutes for me to say it right. It’s not that people can’t pronounce these names, it’s that they won’t. It’s lazy and it’s rude.
It’s also RACIST.
Say ‘racist’.
They pronounce Tchaikovsky and Schwarzenegger just fine.
The gift of empathy has been in my family for generations. My mother is one, her father, and so on. Here are some tips that my family has used throughout the years to make life as a feeler a little easier. There’s also a list of correspondences all the way at the bottom.
Rose quartz is your best friend!
If your child is an empath, protect them by putting chunks of rose quartz throughout the house (my mother swears by this)
Any body of natural water is healing to empaths, especially the ocean. When you feel overwhelmed bring your heart to the water.
Moonlight is also extremely healing
Don’t wait till you’re too overwhelmed with emotion before you cleanse and ground.
Sometimes periods of isolation are necessary for empaths, set some time aside as often as you want, to be alone, preferably at a peaceful and calming place (beach, forest, your bathtub)
Remember you can’t lose your gift, but it can become blocked or suppressed. It’s likely to happen after a trauma or if you become too overwhelmed with the emotion you constantly feel. If it happens be patient, it’s more important to deal with your own emotions and take care of yourself first. It doesn’t make you a bad empath, I promise.
Shielding is super important! My mother had a cats eye necklace made for me as an infant for this exact reason. Shield however you see fit, even an quick energy sheild before you leave your house will help.
Try to connect to your element. Not every empath is gonna be a water element, althought water will still be healing for them. If you’re an empath who’s a fire element, light a bonfire to ground, and so on.
Spirit work might be challenging and can get extremely overwhelming for empaths. Be careful around any haunted places or antique stores. Although some empaths are extremely talented at spirit work and use their gift to help spirits pass on, this isn’t always the case, especially in younger empaths. An empaths ability to do that safely has everything to do with their comfort level, if you’re extremely sensitive to emotion, the wrong kind from a spirit can do a lot of damage. I don’t recommend any empaths go to places where violent deaths occurred (especially not empathic children, my mother learned this the hard way with me). It’s almost 100% of the time too overwhelming and pushing yourself only makes it worse in the long run.
You may find cannabis to be helpful during times when you need to ground and relax. It also might help unblock your gift if it get repressed. I recommend an indica or hybrid since empaths are prone to anxiety.
Aromatherapy, meditation, and self-care can make a world of difference for an empath. Remember to take care of yourself first. If you’ve had a hard day and your friend is upset too and you can’t handle both, it’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person or empath. You need to come first, try to set boundaries to protect yourself.
